I'd like to know why I feel worse since removing gluten from my diet. Seriously worse. My body aches horribly, headaches and I'm so exhausted that I can barely move. This really sucks. I'm supposed to be having an optimistic outlook and looking forward to my new life, but I'm finding that kind of hard. What I'm also finding very odd is that I'm always hungry. So hungry that my stomach is constantly growling. I'm eating though. I'm certainly not starving myself, so what's the deal?

The other thing I'm having a hard time with is the cost of gluten free food. My grocery bill was ridiculous before, now it's downright outrageous. I'm currently frustrated....so welcome to my pity party.

My word of the day: cross contamination

In the world of Celiac, this is apparently a huge problem. Today I found out first hand. My friend picked me up a McFlurry at McDonalds. An M&M McFlurry, which should be gluten free, unless you find a chunk of an oreo in it.........which I did.

Sounds pretty minor, right? It was just a small piece. WRONG!! It contaminated my otherwise gluten free treat. The gluten free diet for a Celiac is really strict. So strict in fact that I have to actually get my own toaster. I can't toast my gluten free bread in the same toaster as the bad, evil, horrible wheat bread.

Cross contamination.

Just when I thought that I wasn't busy enough, something else comes along that seems insurmountable. Yesterday I found out that I tested positive for Celiac Disease. Seriously.

On one hand, it explains a lot. The headaches, body aches, and possibly even infertility. It's good to know that all the symptoms weren't all in my head. I have an actual explanation, and in some ways it's a relief. Plus, it's not a fatal or crippling disease. It definitely could be a LOT worse.

However, all that positivity isn't stopping me from being totally overwhelmed, depressed and irritated. All I can think about is all the stuff that I will have to give up. Oh fresh, warm, crusty bread how I love you so! It's like a break up, and I'm devastated. Not to mention the total and complete freedom to eat whatever I want, whenever I want. It's now gone, and I am sentenced to a life of planning ahead, checking every single label, and being that annoying customer at the restaurant that asks for special food. I can no longer wander in to a bakery and savor a delicious, gooey pastry. I will never be able to order the roast beef asiago sandwich (my favorite!) at Panera again.

I'm sad. Seriously sad.

This is my new life though, and I don't have much of a choice in this. So I know that I have to get over it and forge ahead. It will be my own personal challenge to cook, and bake delicious gluten free goods. I look forward to the day when I feel so fantastic that I look back and realize that I spent way too long feeling like crap. Today is not that day though. Today I am still wallowing in my own self pity while I check all my antidepressants for gluten. Yup, even medications can contain gluten- who knew?!

I have to post these things because I never want to forget how funny and damn cute my son is. I seriously find myself laughing at something he says or does just about every day.

This morning I got up to Griffin begging Ryan to play Lego's with him. I mean this kid was pleading as if his life depended on it. Finally in complete desperation, Griffin says " I'll let you have the log skidder, and I promise not to take your trucks from you". That is a HUGE promise coming from a 4 year old! Ryan couldn't resist the log skidder offer, and finally went upstairs to play Lego's.

Then last night as Griffin was getting ready for bed, I was in the bathroom washing my face. He comes running in, completely naked, because he had to pee. He finishes and then turns to me and shakes his wanker at me. When I asked him what he was doing, he replied "it's the pickle show". Seriously. I didn't know if should die laughing or just die from shock. Lord, I hope he doesn't say stuff like that at school....

I am a human pin cushion. In an attempt to draw blood from my veins today, the nurse stuck me, not once, not twice, not even three times, but FOUR! Seriously, FOUR!! Bless her heart, she was nice and all, and I could tell that she felt bad. But seriously, FOUR?! It's funny, I don't mind the needle much. What I do mind though is the tapping of my inner arm in search of a "good one". I'm also not a fan of fishing around inside my arm with the needle in search of it. To me, it's like nails down a chalk board and it grosses me out. Finally, oil was struck and it flowed beautifully! Two sore arms and a couple of bruises later.

Lucky for me, I have a nice long weekend off from work to celebrate the holiday. That's plenty of time of time to get over it!

Griffin: How come you don't feel good?

Me: I don't know bud, I just don't

Griffin: Is it because your old?


............OUCH!..................................................

It's been a fun and interesting week. Tuesday was my 8th wedding anniversary. Ryan and I had plans to go out to dinner last Saturday, but wouldn't you know that he got sick with the stomach bug! We don't get a lot of grown up time alone, and I was really looking forward to it. So needless to say, I was disappointed. Yes, I felt bad for him to.



I had a great day on Mother's Day. Ryan was still sick and stayed home, but Griffin and I went with my mother and Ryan's parents to the beach. It was such a gorgeous day, and so perfect for just relaxing. The water was frigid, but the kids didn't care and went right in! Crazy!

On Wednesday, our family welcomed it's newest addition. Here's Griffin checking out his new 2nd cousin, Brysen Matthew. My nephew Matt and his wife Brittani are happy and proud new parents. Griffin and I went to the hospital to meet the sweet little peanut. Ohhhh he's a cute one! Just a sweet little snugly nugget. I totally got my baby fix and enjoyed every second of it.