Got the call from my Dr's office & out of the 14 eggs, only 6 fertilized. I know that it's more than some people get, but I am a bit disappointed. So we'll go back on Friday for the embryo transfer. We'll see then how many out of the 6 are still doing well. This whole process is such a roller coaster.

I'm still tired and sore today. I made Ryan take Griffin out for a while so that I could get a nap. I really needed to rest. When they got back, I took Griffin out to go apple picking. He was so cute, and just loved it there. Apple crisp came out of the oven just a little while ago- can't wait to eat it!!

Just a quick update. I'm really tired, and pretty sore. The egg retrieval went really well though. They were able to get 14 eggs! I'm very happy about that. It's more than I've ever got before. I'm pleasantly suprised to say the least. Tomorrow afternoon, my Dr's office will call and let me know how many of those fertilized. Can't wait for that call!

Tomorrow is my egg retrieval surgery. I've been feeling really uncomfortable and bloated so I'm kind of looking forward to getting them out of me. My last ultrasound showed some good ones, so I can't wait to see how many they get and how many are mature. I've never been one of those women that gets like 20 or more, and I'm not expecting that at all, but I'd like to get at least 10 mature eggs.

I'm spending today prepping for surgery. Not that I have lots to do, but I'm trying to drink plenty of water since I can't have any after midnight. I want to stay really hydrated. I also want to get all my housework and errands done. That way I can completely relax tomorrow when I get home. I also need to call and make appointments for acupuncture. I'd like to get in a session on Thursday before the embryo transfer and then on Friday for after.

I'm so glad that we're on vacation this week. I feel so much more relaxed while trying to do all of this. Yesterday, I had a bunch of the girls over for that Scentsy party. It went really well- I did way better than I had expected. Plus, we had a good time. I made a bunch of yummy food, some equally yummy cocktails and it was great to visit with everyone. It really was a fun way to start off my vacation.

Besides my IVF stuff, I'm hoping that we get to go to the fairs this week. If we can't make Fryeburg, I really want to at least go to Deerfield. I think Griffin will love seeing the animals and the farm equipment. Besides that, we'll just see what the week brings us. I'm content to not be at work and that's a good enough vacation for me!

Me: Here Griff let me put cartoons on for you. Can you give me the remote?

Griffin: Mommy got the "fucking remote"

I just about fell over, but I wasn't 100% sure that was what he said. So I calmly and nonchalantly ask him "What did you say?"

Just as calmly and nonchalantly, he says "the fucking remote"

Yup, no question now. That's definitely what he said. Clear as day, and as if he was born to say the F word. Even used it in the correct context. If it wasn't for the fact that he's only 2 1/2, I might consider this a good use of an adjective.

So what did I do about it? I did what every other mother in history has done- I called Ryan and blamed it on him! The conversation started something like this "Do you know what YOUR son just said?".

LMFAO!!

I had an ultrasound a blood work this morning. So far, there are 4 follicles on the left and 5 on the right that are measurable. It's not a fabulous number, but it only takes 1. I have to remember that it's completely about the quality and not the quantity. My E2 level is 548. I have to be honest and say that I don't really pay attention to that. I only know because the nurse mentioned it when she called and said that it's a good number.

So, I'm staying on my current dosages of the Gonal-F and the Luveris. Tonight I'll add in the Ganirilex as well. That will keep my LH from surging which would cause ovulation. It will help those follies grow and mature. So now I'm on 3 shots a day. Atleast the needles are tiny, and don't hurt.

Side effects are still minimal- for now. The worst right now is the hot flashes and the sweating. Of course, this would be the time that the weather decides to get warm. I really need it to be in the 60's.

My best guess right now is that my egg retrieval surgery will be on Monday. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it's not Sunday. I'm having a Scentsy party at my house, and have my friends and family coming for brunch. I'm really looking forward to it since I haven't had people over for a while. The Scentsy party is sort of secondary- I'm just looking forward to spending time with the girls and having some yummy food and a possibly a couple of mimosas. I'm praying that it will be the last time I can have a mimosa for 9 months!

I'm finally back on my regular shift, and I couldn't be happier. Working until midnight every night was not the best thing for me. I wanted it to work out, I really did. Not having to go in until 4 was great. The late nights just weren't cutting it for me though. So now I'm getting to bed at a decent time and getting more sleep, and I've been feeling somewhat better.

My next appointment with my Dr is scheduled at the end of the month and I am planning on talking to her about fibromyalgia and whether it's possible that I have it. I've been reading about it lately and I have a lot of the symptoms. It would certainly explain a lot.

Now the important stuff- I have started my meds for my next IVF. So far, I'm feeling ok. No major side effects or moodiness yet. Then again, it's only been 4 days. I go for blood work and an ultrasound on Wed. to check my progress. I haven't told anyone. Except, of course, anyone reading this. I've never kept it a secret before, and it's not really my intention to do that now. It's just that I don't really feel like discussing it so much lately. To be honest, I'm not really that excited about it. I'm not feeling negative or anything, just not excited. This is my 4th fresh cycle, so perhaps it's just sort of becoming routine. It's really hard to describe the feeling.

I actually enjoyed some days of being headache free, and I'm sad to report that my luck has run out. I'm very frustrated, to say the least. I've been on birth control pills to prepare for my upcoming IVF and I took the last one on Sunday night. So I'm sure that the hormone fluctuation was the trigger this time. I've taken my medication, and now I'm praying that I caught it early enough that it goes away.

So why the hell am I on my computer when my head is splitting?? Well, I always have good intentions of blogging when Griffin does stuff that I find funny or particularly cute, but I ALWAYS forget. By the time I sit down with the computer, I forgot whatever it was that I wanted to write. Since I haven't done a scrapbook, this is my only record of those things.

Now after that whole explanation, you're probably expecting this extremely funny story. Sorry to disappoint, it's not that funny. I just found it to be really cute, but it's also a reminder to me of how my little boy is growing up and becoming his own little man. So here goes- this morning while I was folding laundry in my room, Griff grabbed a bunch of his toys and brought them in. Since there are toys all over the rest of my house, I'd prefer to keep them out of my bedroom. So, I stop him just as he's walking in, and I tell him that he needs to bring them back to his room. He actually says to me "but I need something to do Mommy!" Oh really?! Not expecting to get much of a response, I say "If you need something to do, go downstairs and pick up your toys". In his most reluctant tone he says "OoooooKaaayyy" and he actually did it.

Then because he can't get any cuter, as we were getting ready to leave and I was helping him put on his shoes, he leans in to me and says "you smell pretty Mommy". I just love that little guy!

I finished reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo this morning. I LOVED it! Now I can't wait to read the other 2 in the series. If you happen to be looking for something good to read, I highly recommend it. I'm horrible at giving a book description without giving away too many details, so you'll have to look it up.

I seem to be doing better for the last 2 days with my headaches. Knock on wood! Maybe I'll be lucky enough to actually go for a week without one. Just my luck though- I had another sleepless night last night. I just don't get it. If it's not one thing, it's another. I really just want to feel normal.

I just talked to Ryan, and he has now messed up my plans for tomorrow. He has to work until 11:30. I wanted to get up early and do some shopping. I desperately need groceries, and a trip to BJ's. Bringing Griffin with me is the last thing that I wanted to do. He's so not well behaved in stores, and I have so much to do. Time to go find a solution....

Unless you REALLY have to, stay away from emergency rooms on Saturday nights. How do I know this? Well that's how I spent my early morning.

I worked yesterday, but I should have stayed home. I had a migraine that just wouldn't quit, and really it just seemed to get worse with medication. By the end of my shift at midnight it was so bad that I couldn't even stand it. I was nauseous and vomiting and even dizzy. I tried to call my Dr's on-call number twice but couldn't get a hold of anyone. So my friend Sherry at work drove me to the ER.

First of all, there's nothing like sitting in the ER waiting room with a migraine. I don't want to complain because I'm sure that there were people that needed to be seen way ahead of me, but I would have gladly waited in a dark room if they had offered it. Oh, and forget about the really strange people waiting in there with me. All I can say about that is WTF???? The guy that ended up being treated in the room next to me was there under arrest because he was tearing apart his apartment and beating himself up. The nurse asked him if he had a history of mental illness. Um, isn't that obvious?!!

So they when they finally started treating me, they were kind enough to dim the lights in my little room. I got a nice IV (you should see the bruises) with a cocktail of 3 different drugs. I don't even remember what they gave me. I fell asleep and about an hour later they came to check on me. I felt better, so they released me. So at 4am I had to call Ryan to come pick me up.

When I finally got home, I was wiped. I ended up sleeping until 2:30 this afternoon. The rest of the day was spent relaxing and I finished reading a book that I had been looking forward to finishing last night. It's not how I wanted to spend my holiday weekend, but atleast I'm feeling better.

The Yo Gabba Gabba show turned out to be really cute. Griffin liked it and couldn't take his eyes off the stage. Our day didn't start so well though. When he woke up, he wanted Ryan and cried when I said that Ryan was at work. Then he said "I don't like you mumma", "I like Daddy". UMMM........if that wasn't like a kick in the gut!! From there he just continued to whine and cry about absolutely nothing. He seemed better after he got dressed, but when my friend Betty came to pick us up, he started crying again because he wanted to ride in my car instead. I literally had to hold him down while I buckled him in! He settled down on the ride, and was really good at the show. We took the kids to lunch after and he was even pretty good at the restaurant.

This morning ended up being much like yesterday morning. The only good thing about today is that he didn't tell me that he didn't like me. It's a sad day when I actually look forward to going to work. Needless to say, I was at the end of my rope. Of course I felt so horrible about our crappy morning that I was in tears on my way to work.

I'm praying for a better day tomorrow.