This will be a short post because seriously, I'm speechless. I'm watching that new show on TLC, My Strange Addiction. So far, I'm seen a woman who sleeps with a blowdryer, someone who eats toilet paper (clean, of course), a grown woman who sucks her thumb, and a woMAN who is addicted to bodybuilding. Of course none of these women think that their addiction is really an issue. Not an issue? How many people do you know snack on tp? Let's picture her in a restaurant. "Yes waiter, I'd like the surf and turf platter, and a side of toilet paper. And I prefer Cottonelle instead of Charmin if you have it. Thanks".

Oh, the preview for next week just came on, it has a woman who carries around a puppet. WTF WTF WTF???

This is some seriously messed up stuff. It's a train wreck, and I can't stop watching. It may be my new strange addiction....

I have a name for my visits to the ENT Dr. I'm going to start calling it Nose Rape. I begged with a tear in my eye not to stick that probe up my nostrils, but did she listen?? NOOOO! She explained that there is still impacted junk up there and if she doesn't get it out then I am running a risk of infection. Lucky me. It didn't last long because I was about to vomit. So I don't think she was able to get as much out as she would have liked.

I'm very frustrated by this whole ordeal. I have done everything that I have been instructed to do. One nurse practitioner tells me to start taking a decongestant, that it will help loosen it up. Today the other nurse says to stop taking it because it could dry everything out and end up making it worse. Now after all the stuff that I have been doing, I find out that I'm not standing over steam enough. Really?!

I hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday & that Santa was good to you all. I have so many pictures to post, but it's going to take me a couple of days. I had to leave early so that I could drive to work in the blizzard today, and tomorrow I have a Dr's appointment before I come in to work.

Christmas was really nice for us. Christmas Eve at my house went well. I ended up with a Yankee Swap gift that I actually liked and can use. I think that's a first! Griffin stayed up way too late because of all the people at our house, so he actually slept later than normal on Christmas morning. He was so funny, because he was so focused on a puzzle that he got the night before that he didn't notice the presents at first. Of course, once he noticed, he got a huge grin on his face, and kept kept asking if they were all for him. Then after he opened each gift, he insisted on cleaning up the wrapping paper. It took him about an hour to open everything. He got sick of it, and refused to open any more gifts at one point. I think that I may have gone a bit overboard with gifts for him!

Needless to say, he's been in heaven for the past couple of days playing with all of his new toys. We went to Ryan's parents house on Christmas afternoon, and we all got spoiled! Griffin got even more toys, of course. We ended the day with a beautiful prime rib dinner. The roast came out cooked to perfection. Makes me want to make another one!

So the party is over, and I'm back to work now. At least I only have to work 4 days this week, and then have 3 days off. It's a good way to ease back in to working after all the time off. Tomorrow I have a Dr appt, and I will absolutely not be letting the nurse stick anything up my nose other than to look at it. I still get sick at the thought of that last appointment. I've been doing everything that I was told to do, so I'm hoping that I'm making some progress. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Wishing everyone a joyous and blessed Christmas!

I went back to work yesterday, and I'm back out and in my bed today. I have been really sore still, but figured it was normal. Today I had a post-op, and well, it didn't go so well for me. Turns out that the reason that I'm so sore is because I have a lot of "junk" up there that is too thick and not draining. So the nurse practitioner used a suction tool and got some of it out. It felt like that thing went all the way up to my brain. It freaking hurt! It was seriously the most painful part of this whole thing yet.

Needless to say, I may have started hyperventilating, and I may have come close to passing out. Now obviously the nurse practitioner does this all the time, and is just chatting away giving me instructions as I feel all the blood draining from my head and I fight to keep my eyes from rolling back. Finally she looks at me and notices that I could be going down. She promptly puts my chair back and raises my legs until I can get myself together. To make this whole thing even more fun- Griffin was there and sees the whole thing. So in the middle of it, I'm trying to comfort him and reassure him that Mommy is ok.

I get myself together and feel well enough to leave, but now I'm in horrible pain, my head is pounding and I'm sick to my stomach. As soon as I could, I had to stop and get a drink and some crackers so that I could swallow down a Vicodin. I got home after dropping Griff off at daycare and just crashed in my bed. I've felt like crap ever since.

So the build-up of "junk" was causing a lot of pressure, and also causing a lot of inflammation. She said that is probably why I was still in so much pain. As opposed to what she did to me today?? Ugh! I get to start doing a sinus rinse and take a decongestant, the hope is that it will help a lot with loosening everything up. Good God, will the fun ever end?!

There's nothing like other people's misery that really makes you take stock of your own life and remind you to be grateful for all that you have.

My mother's best friend Dolores lost her daughter in law suddenly this week. It was very unexpected, and she leaves behind 4 young boys. Dolores flew to Texas to be with her son and grandchildren during this time. This morning, her daughter, Michelle, was found dead (by her young daughter, no less) in her home. Michelle leaves behind 3 children. Seven children in her family were left motherless this week. I can not even imagine this. It's beyond my comprehension how something so tragic happens.

To say the least, Michelle has not had an easy time of it. It's still a shock that she's actually gone though. I don't know how Dolores will find the strength to get through this loss. To make matters even worse, she is battling cancer, and is very ill. Makes you just wonder why, and how. How can one person endure all of this?

Life can change so quick. It's scary.

My Christmas cards are finally in the mail, and I am officially done with all of my shopping! Woo Hoo! I only had a few Yankee Swap gifts and small gifts for teachers to buy, but it's all done. To make things even better, every single thing is wrapped and ready to go. Time to get baking!

I have a pretty ambitious list of goodies that I would like to bake. I hope that I have the energy to get it all done. I'm suprised at how much pain I'm still in 10 days post surgery. I'm still taking 3 pain pills to make it through the day. My plan is to go back to work on Monday, but I may wait until Tuesday when I see the nurse for another post-op appt. I'm sure that it's normal, but I want to make sure.

It's hard to believe that Christmas is only a week away. Only one more week of Griffin asking if today is the day that Santa is coming. I love it! I'm so excited to see his face on Christmas morning when all the gifts are under the tree. He's going to be one spoiled little boy!

Ding, dong the splints are gone!! What a relief. I sat down in the chair with my palms sweating. Full of anxiety about the pain of having them taken out, but also the joy I knew that I would feel as soon as they were gone. I was a big girl, and took some deep breathes as I focused on the ceiling, and it was over quickly.

I'm still under the same restrictions. No lifting, no blowing my nose, etc, etc. I have to go back for post-op appts every week for another month. So I'm not out of the sinus/septum woods yet. I'm going to stay out of work for the rest of this week. I'm still really sore, and taking pain meds, but because of the prednisone I REALLY can't sleep. Let me put it this way, it's after midnight and I've just watched 2 Christmas movies, and I'm wide awake blogging. Seriously.

Anyway, tonight I was thinking about how lucky I am to have my hubby. I admit that I don't always give him a lot of recognition and praise. Not because I don't appreciate the things that he does, but I think that I just sort of expect it. True, he isn't the most romantic guy (or at all), or the warmest and fuzziest. Yes, I have to basically threaten his life to get him to open up to me sometimes. BUT, he loves me.

So, why the sappy, make you want to stab your eyeballs out kind of lovefest? Well, I was talking to someone today, and she was asking about my recovery. I casually mentioned that Ryan doesn't baby me, and hasn't waited on me hand and foot. She was shocked. Seriously suprised. I'm guessing because that is what she would expect out of her husband. I didn't think it was a big deal, and honestly only mentioned it in casual conversation and not part of a bash my hubby moment.

Obviously the conversation got me to thinking. My marriage works because I don't need my husband to baby me. I can baby myself, as long as he takes care of the rest. My husband has slept in the spare room for a week now so that I can have the comfort of my bed. When he took his pillow in there with him, he also grabbed the baby monitor (without being asked, mind you) so that if Griffin wakes up in the middle of the night or at 5 am, he can get up with him. He's made breakfast, lunch and dinner for Griff all week, and impressively, it's all been healthy, nutritious food. He's both dropped him off and picked him up from daycare, and then come home and still been the sole care taker. He's dressed him every morning, and gotten him ready for bed every night. He's kept up with the dishes and vacuuming, and general pick up. Not once has he complained that I have barely lifted a finger. Not once have I had to answer questions like "where are his shoes" or "what clothes should he wear". I never get a complaint when Griffin is cranky and acting like a jerk. Ryan just takes care of it, and deals with it.

I am lucky. I am very aware that a lot of other husbands struggle with the smallest of tasks. I have friends, and I have heard the complaints. I'm not trying to be smug, and imply that it makes mine the better marriage. It's the better marriage for me though, and what got me to thinking about how lucky I am to have found someone that takes care of me in the way that I need it. I'll take the peace of mind in knowing that my son and my house are being well cared for when I can't, any day over flowers and sweet talk.

So I have to give Ryan huge props for being such a good husband and dad. I may joke about the lack of romantic gestures, but in all honesty, I'm ok with it. I truely appreciate and love the marriage that we have, and all that he does do for me. Even if it's not someone elses idea of good marriage.

I am bored out of my mind!

Who would have thought that it would be hard to take it easy? I just couldn't stand it today, so I made a huge pot of spaghetti sauce and meatballs, and then I baked snickerdoodles. Both were really yummy, and I was craving a good homecooked meal, but I am paying the price for it now. My head is pounding right down to my teeth. I guess that I way overdid it today.

So it's back to hanging out in bed and watching movies. Good time of year for that atleast. Last night, I watched The Polar Express, Christmas Vacation, and The Santa Clause. I've probably never mentioned this, but I'm a holiday movie junky!! Really, I am. From the cartoons, to the really corny ones, to the classics, I love them all. My dvr is set to record just about any holiday movie I could find. Not to mention my own dvds that I have sadly not watched yet this year. It wouldn't be Christmas without watching Holiday Inn or White Christmas- Bing's voice just melts my heart! I have to watch Meet me in St Louis. It's not necessarily a Christmas movie, but to hear Judy Garland sing Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, it's perfect. Then I also have Love Actually- I just actually love this movie to! My absolute favorite holiday movie though, is A Christmas Story, and I don't watch that until Christmas Eve. It's my own little tradition in my house since Ryan doesn't like the movie (seriously, I married a guy that doesn't think that F-R-A-G-I-L-E is hysterical).

I'm raising my kid right though. I'm starting him young, and instilling in him the importance of watching holiday classics. With any luck, in a couple of years, I'll have a buddy to watch A Christmas Story with me. This year, I'm starting him off slow. He's watched all the holiday versions of his favorite cartoons like Dora, and then I've slipped in some classic Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and Frosty the Snowman in there. So far, Frosty is his favorite! I tried to get him to watch Santa Clause is Coming to Town, but he wasn't really into it. I guess that he wasn't a fan of the Burgermeister Meisterburger.

I had my first post-op visit today. One word......YUCK!!! Seriously, they suctioned out some of the packing, and it brought tears to my eyes. I can't imagine how it's going to feel to have the splints taken out. I'm a baby, I admit it, but this isn't for the faint of heart.

So now I have a whole list of medications, and instructions to follow. Saline spray every hour, cream up my nose 4x's a day, stand over steam, take prednisone, antibiotics, and of course pain meds. Got my pain meds bumped up to percocets though, so no complaints there. Then there is my sleeping situation- I won't be able to lay flat for weeks. I thought that it was only for the first week, but I was wrong.

There is one plus to this whole surgery- I don't have black eyes! Everything is done from the inside and there is no breaking involved, so that means no bruising. I actually don't have a ton of swelling either. If it wasn't for the attractive gauze under my nose, it may not be real noticable to anyone but me.

So there is deviated septum and sinus surgery summed up, just in case you might be considering it. I had BETTER get some relief from my headaches after this. They keep telling my how much better I'll be able to breathe. What's funny is that I never noticed any trouble breathing before. Maybe I was just used to it? I don't know, but I'm really curious to feel the difference.

The surgery went well. No complications, and it went as expected. I don't remember much of anything about the whole thing. I remember going into the operating room and shifting from one bed to the other, and that was about it. I was in a lot of pain afterwards, so I was given morphine, dilaudid, and then 2 vicodins. I was pretty out of it. When we got home, I pretty much slept for the rest of the day, and was comfortable.

Today, I'm in pain. I've been taking the vicodins every 4 hrs, but I don't think it's cutting it. I have an appt tomorrow to check the packing, and I'll mention it. I still have gauze taped to my face because of the oozing and bleeding. Not pretty!

I've got a little camp set up in my bedroom, complete with my laptop, my cell phone, the tv, the portable dvd player, my kindle, and of course my meds! Tonight I came downstairs to eat dinner, and Griffin begged me to stay. I couldn't turn him down. It's funny how being up for 2 hours has completely wiped my out though. So, it's back to bed for me now that Griffin has gone to sleep.

Tomorrow is the big day. The big 3-5. Advanced maternal age. I guess with the thought of surgery, I sort of forgot about this little fertility milestone that I am reaching. I'm not really sure how I feel about this. It's not like I feel any different, but the number makes it so official.

Tomorrow is also my sinus surgery, and I'm so nervous about it. Really I'm nervous about the amount of pain that I'll be in afterwards, and not being able to breath. The thought of the packing and the splints up my nose makes me queasy. My head has been pounding for the past 2 days. I'm taking it as a good reminder of exactly why I'm going through with the surgery. I'm really hoping that it makes a difference.

I've got about 20 minutes left here at work. When I get home, I have to finish up some housework like laundry and changing my sheets. I have to be at the hospital at 7:40 am, so I also need to get to bed early. Atleast I have stuff to keep my mind off everything.

So happy birthday to me! Tomorrow should be fun. Just the way anyone would want to spend their birthday. Ha!

I had my pre-op appt on Tuesday. It went exactly how I expected that it would. Just my luck, I got the nurse that says I'll only be out of work for 1 week. Interesting since my friend who had the same surgery was out of work for 3 weeks. Not that I'm expecting the worst, but I certainly don't want to be rushed back either. I don't even get the splints taken out of my nose until 1 week after surgery.

I am so ready for Christmas! I put my tree up & it's almost completely decorated. It looks so pretty! I love when I get home at night and Ryan leaves it on for me. I have almost all of my shopping done. The things that I have left to buy are just small odds & ends. I've actually wrapped about 1/2 of it already as well. I ordered my Christmas cards, and they came in today. While I'm laying in bed recovering, I'll probably get them addressed. I've never been this far ahead during the holidays, it feels good.

My friends at work had an early birthday party for me tonight. It was really nice, and very sweet of them to do. They made me a delicious dinner, and baked a cake. Because they know me so well, they all pitched in for a gift certificate for my favorite spa. Good timing, because I'm going there on Friday. I have to have the shellac removed from my nails. That stuff is seriously amazing. I only have 1 nail that has chipped, but because they have grown so much I have to get it removed. Plus, I can't have any nail polish on for surgery. So on my nails, I would say that I got 10 days of perfect polish. Not bad at all.