I'm having an emotional day today. I'm stating the obvious here, but some days it's really not easy being a parent. I know that it's because I love my son more than anything in this world that I struggle. What's right, what's wrong, what won't turn him into a psycho drug addict in his adult life?! Ok, so that may be a bit dramatic, but it's not like I don't think about it.

I know that he's only 2, but I want the best for him. It's not like I have expectations that he'll always be well behaved, and be the perfect child. I know that they all go through phases, and they will be naughty. It still breaks my heart to see or hear about him doing wrong though. Lately, there's been a lot of that.

This morning we had to attend a brunch put on by Griff's daycare. My son was not good. While all the other kids were playing together, he kept crawling under our table. Then when we would try to get him up, he'd laugh and kick the legs of the table. When he got tired of that, he started running around, and climbing on the chairs. Finally, just when I think he's going to start playing nicely with the other kids- he chases a little girl to push her. I get up to go get him, and he grabs a handful of her hair!! Not embarassing at all.

After the brunch is over, and we go back to the daycare center, I asked his teacher if this is how he's been acting for her. She said yes. I was crushed. She said that he's been really physical, pushing, etc. When they put him in time out, he laughs at them and does it again.

So, now I feel like a crappy mom. I want to be able to be home with him more, but I know it's not possible. I know for sure that part of the reason he gets like this, is that he isn't napping anymore like he should. He used to nap around 10am, but now he isn't ready for a nap until around 1pm. So because I have to leave for work at 12, he's not napping at all. I'm thinking that it might help to send him to daycare all day on the 3 days that he goes, instead of from just 12:30 to 4. My thought is that it would get him into a more structured routine with all the other kids and hopefully he would take a nap with them. BUT, and here is the big but- I wouldn't see him as much. The thought just kills me.

I'm so torn, by the choices. I really don't know what to do.

Atleast now I have a concrete reason to give to my brother as to why we don't want anyone playing so rough with him!