Ryan and I went back to the RE's office today to discuss our next step. So, we're going for it and doing a fresh cycle. We can start it right away since this last cycle was a frozen embryo transfer. I don't even know how I feel about it all right now. I wanted the FET to work so badly, and I'm so disappointed. I'm sure that in a couple of more days, I'll be fine and I'll start getting into the mindset of a fresh cycle. Today, I just can't completely wrap my head around it.

I can't even completely remember the protocol/meds that I will be doing. My Dr went over it with me today, but I just can't remember. Since the nurse will call me soon, and go over everything again, I'm not going to worry about it now. All I need to know now is that I call them on cycle day 1, and then I start the birth control pills. I do know that he's sticking with the same protocol that we used when I got pregnant with Griff, and I suppose that I could dig out my records somewhere. I'm not going to though.

Ryan and I were discussing the whole thing on our way home, and I happened to mention that I just didn't feel like our family was complete. He said that he didn't know what that meant. I guess for him, it doesn't make a difference. I grew up in a large family, and while I didn't think that I would have 7 kids, I certainly thought that I would have more than one. It's not to say that Griffin isn't enough. I'm so blessed to have him, and I count my blessings everyday. Sometimes I feel greedy for wanting more, but I know that it's not only about me. I don't want my son to be an only child. I think siblings are important, and that there are lots of life lessons that can only be taught by your siblings.

So for now, I'm taking it one day at a time. I want to snap out of this funk that I'm in and feel better. After my appointment today, I went shopping for stuff to send to the troops overseas. We have a collection box here at work. It felt nice to be thinking of someone other than myself.