Why? There are just so many whys when it comes to infertility. I don't even know where I want to start. On one of the Babycenter boards, a couple of women were taking their pregnancy tests today- both got negatives. It breaks my heart. Not only for them, but for everyone struggling with it.
I guess today, reading that thread, it brought me back to the time before getting pregnant with Griffin. I was so fearful that I would never have a baby. I questioned everything I had ever done in my life- have I done something to deserve this? why me? I worked so hard and struggled so much to stay positve. I believed that the things in your life are put there for a reason, and an opportunity to learn something- I still believe that.
But why do some things have to be soooo hard? Especially something like getting pregnant. Isn't it a completely natural, biological function of a womans body? Shouldn't all women who want to have a baby be given that opportunity? Why don't more insurance companies offer infertility coverage? If a man can't get an erection, I'm sure that they have no difficulty in their insurance providing the coverage. So why not infertility? It baffles me.
I am extremely fortunate in that my insurance does cover IVF, and it covers all of it. I just wish that all women who need this, had access to it. It seems so unfair to me. Of course, I count my lucky stars everyday when I look at Griffin. I am so blessed to have had the opportunity to have just one child. It's just days like this that I feel greedy, or like I'm pushing my luck trying for a second. I shouldn't feel guilty, I know. I need to do what feels right, and I feel that longing to have another baby.