I've been doing so well with the wait for the blood test. Up until today, I had barely even given it any thought. Every once in a while it would sort of hit me that "oh yeah, I could be pregnant". Today, that changed. I can barely get it out of my mind today, and my thoughts aren't positive. I'm really not trying to be negative. I don't know why, but I just don't have a good feeling. I have to keep reminding myself that when I got pregnant with Griffin, I really thought that I had PMS.

I don't understand how all of a sudden I went from not giving the whole thing much thought to being all gloom. I want to be excited and hopeful. I want to be strong. I want to have another baby and feel like my family is complete. I don't want to keep feeling like everything is such a struggle all the time.

In the meantime, I guess I'll be expecting the worst, but hoping for the best.