TMI ALERT!! I started my period last night. On the down side, I feel bloated, and crampy, and plain old gross today. On the plus side, that means that I am going in to the fresh cycle. I should call my RE's office, but I hate calling on Sundays, so I'll just call them tomorrow. I don't think it's a big deal since right now I'm only starting birth control pills. I certainly don't need instructions on that.

I am feeling a bit better emotionally. I knew that if I gave myself a few days to get in the mindset of moving forward that I would be okay. I have to keep reminding myself that there is always a reason for things whether I like it or not, and whether I think it's fair or not. I was reminded of this the other day. A friend on mine has been house hunting, and she put an offer in on a house that she loved. She didn't get the house and was really upset. I kept telling her that there was a reason for it, that maybe the house had some issues or something and being a single mom, she wouldn't be able to deal with them. At the time it was little consolation, but I just knew that if she kept herself open to it, she would see. Well, it turns out that the reason she didn't get it was even better than I had thought. Currently, she rents an apartment that is built off the side of a house. She had become very fond of the owner, but recently he died suddenly from a heart attack. His daughters have decided to sell the house, but they called her and are giving her the first chance at buying it- and at a price that is WAY below the value! This is where she has lived for the past couple of years. She really loves the house, and has helped over the years to do things like make a garden, do landscaping, and other general upkeep. So now she has the opportunity to buy this house at a profit, plus have rental income. I'm thrilled for her.


It reminded me that ultimately my goal is to expand my family and mother another child. So I have to accept that there will be set backs. At some point, I may also have to accept that the child my not be biologically mine or Ryans. I don't want to get too far ahead of myself right now, all I'm saying is that who knows right now how exactly I will get to my goal. I am fortunate that I have insurance coverage that covers IVF. So right now I will continue on the IVF path. I think personally that 2 failed FET's is too soon to give up on the hope of getting pregnant again. So right now I will just take it one cycle at a time.