This will be a short post because seriously, I'm speechless. I'm watching that new show on TLC, My Strange Addiction. So far, I'm seen a woman who sleeps with a blowdryer, someone who eats toilet paper (clean, of course), a grown woman who sucks her thumb, and a woMAN who is addicted to bodybuilding. Of course none of these women think that their addiction is really an issue. Not an issue? How many people do you know snack on tp? Let's picture her in a restaurant. "Yes waiter, I'd like the surf and turf platter, and a side of toilet paper. And I prefer Cottonelle instead of Charmin if you have it. Thanks".

Oh, the preview for next week just came on, it has a woman who carries around a puppet. WTF WTF WTF???

This is some seriously messed up stuff. It's a train wreck, and I can't stop watching. It may be my new strange addiction....

I have a name for my visits to the ENT Dr. I'm going to start calling it Nose Rape. I begged with a tear in my eye not to stick that probe up my nostrils, but did she listen?? NOOOO! She explained that there is still impacted junk up there and if she doesn't get it out then I am running a risk of infection. Lucky me. It didn't last long because I was about to vomit. So I don't think she was able to get as much out as she would have liked.

I'm very frustrated by this whole ordeal. I have done everything that I have been instructed to do. One nurse practitioner tells me to start taking a decongestant, that it will help loosen it up. Today the other nurse says to stop taking it because it could dry everything out and end up making it worse. Now after all the stuff that I have been doing, I find out that I'm not standing over steam enough. Really?!

I hope that everyone had a wonderful holiday & that Santa was good to you all. I have so many pictures to post, but it's going to take me a couple of days. I had to leave early so that I could drive to work in the blizzard today, and tomorrow I have a Dr's appointment before I come in to work.

Christmas was really nice for us. Christmas Eve at my house went well. I ended up with a Yankee Swap gift that I actually liked and can use. I think that's a first! Griffin stayed up way too late because of all the people at our house, so he actually slept later than normal on Christmas morning. He was so funny, because he was so focused on a puzzle that he got the night before that he didn't notice the presents at first. Of course, once he noticed, he got a huge grin on his face, and kept kept asking if they were all for him. Then after he opened each gift, he insisted on cleaning up the wrapping paper. It took him about an hour to open everything. He got sick of it, and refused to open any more gifts at one point. I think that I may have gone a bit overboard with gifts for him!

Needless to say, he's been in heaven for the past couple of days playing with all of his new toys. We went to Ryan's parents house on Christmas afternoon, and we all got spoiled! Griffin got even more toys, of course. We ended the day with a beautiful prime rib dinner. The roast came out cooked to perfection. Makes me want to make another one!

So the party is over, and I'm back to work now. At least I only have to work 4 days this week, and then have 3 days off. It's a good way to ease back in to working after all the time off. Tomorrow I have a Dr appt, and I will absolutely not be letting the nurse stick anything up my nose other than to look at it. I still get sick at the thought of that last appointment. I've been doing everything that I was told to do, so I'm hoping that I'm making some progress. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Wishing everyone a joyous and blessed Christmas!

I went back to work yesterday, and I'm back out and in my bed today. I have been really sore still, but figured it was normal. Today I had a post-op, and well, it didn't go so well for me. Turns out that the reason that I'm so sore is because I have a lot of "junk" up there that is too thick and not draining. So the nurse practitioner used a suction tool and got some of it out. It felt like that thing went all the way up to my brain. It freaking hurt! It was seriously the most painful part of this whole thing yet.

Needless to say, I may have started hyperventilating, and I may have come close to passing out. Now obviously the nurse practitioner does this all the time, and is just chatting away giving me instructions as I feel all the blood draining from my head and I fight to keep my eyes from rolling back. Finally she looks at me and notices that I could be going down. She promptly puts my chair back and raises my legs until I can get myself together. To make this whole thing even more fun- Griffin was there and sees the whole thing. So in the middle of it, I'm trying to comfort him and reassure him that Mommy is ok.

I get myself together and feel well enough to leave, but now I'm in horrible pain, my head is pounding and I'm sick to my stomach. As soon as I could, I had to stop and get a drink and some crackers so that I could swallow down a Vicodin. I got home after dropping Griff off at daycare and just crashed in my bed. I've felt like crap ever since.

So the build-up of "junk" was causing a lot of pressure, and also causing a lot of inflammation. She said that is probably why I was still in so much pain. As opposed to what she did to me today?? Ugh! I get to start doing a sinus rinse and take a decongestant, the hope is that it will help a lot with loosening everything up. Good God, will the fun ever end?!

There's nothing like other people's misery that really makes you take stock of your own life and remind you to be grateful for all that you have.

My mother's best friend Dolores lost her daughter in law suddenly this week. It was very unexpected, and she leaves behind 4 young boys. Dolores flew to Texas to be with her son and grandchildren during this time. This morning, her daughter, Michelle, was found dead (by her young daughter, no less) in her home. Michelle leaves behind 3 children. Seven children in her family were left motherless this week. I can not even imagine this. It's beyond my comprehension how something so tragic happens.

To say the least, Michelle has not had an easy time of it. It's still a shock that she's actually gone though. I don't know how Dolores will find the strength to get through this loss. To make matters even worse, she is battling cancer, and is very ill. Makes you just wonder why, and how. How can one person endure all of this?

Life can change so quick. It's scary.

My Christmas cards are finally in the mail, and I am officially done with all of my shopping! Woo Hoo! I only had a few Yankee Swap gifts and small gifts for teachers to buy, but it's all done. To make things even better, every single thing is wrapped and ready to go. Time to get baking!

I have a pretty ambitious list of goodies that I would like to bake. I hope that I have the energy to get it all done. I'm suprised at how much pain I'm still in 10 days post surgery. I'm still taking 3 pain pills to make it through the day. My plan is to go back to work on Monday, but I may wait until Tuesday when I see the nurse for another post-op appt. I'm sure that it's normal, but I want to make sure.

It's hard to believe that Christmas is only a week away. Only one more week of Griffin asking if today is the day that Santa is coming. I love it! I'm so excited to see his face on Christmas morning when all the gifts are under the tree. He's going to be one spoiled little boy!

Ding, dong the splints are gone!! What a relief. I sat down in the chair with my palms sweating. Full of anxiety about the pain of having them taken out, but also the joy I knew that I would feel as soon as they were gone. I was a big girl, and took some deep breathes as I focused on the ceiling, and it was over quickly.

I'm still under the same restrictions. No lifting, no blowing my nose, etc, etc. I have to go back for post-op appts every week for another month. So I'm not out of the sinus/septum woods yet. I'm going to stay out of work for the rest of this week. I'm still really sore, and taking pain meds, but because of the prednisone I REALLY can't sleep. Let me put it this way, it's after midnight and I've just watched 2 Christmas movies, and I'm wide awake blogging. Seriously.

Anyway, tonight I was thinking about how lucky I am to have my hubby. I admit that I don't always give him a lot of recognition and praise. Not because I don't appreciate the things that he does, but I think that I just sort of expect it. True, he isn't the most romantic guy (or at all), or the warmest and fuzziest. Yes, I have to basically threaten his life to get him to open up to me sometimes. BUT, he loves me.

So, why the sappy, make you want to stab your eyeballs out kind of lovefest? Well, I was talking to someone today, and she was asking about my recovery. I casually mentioned that Ryan doesn't baby me, and hasn't waited on me hand and foot. She was shocked. Seriously suprised. I'm guessing because that is what she would expect out of her husband. I didn't think it was a big deal, and honestly only mentioned it in casual conversation and not part of a bash my hubby moment.

Obviously the conversation got me to thinking. My marriage works because I don't need my husband to baby me. I can baby myself, as long as he takes care of the rest. My husband has slept in the spare room for a week now so that I can have the comfort of my bed. When he took his pillow in there with him, he also grabbed the baby monitor (without being asked, mind you) so that if Griffin wakes up in the middle of the night or at 5 am, he can get up with him. He's made breakfast, lunch and dinner for Griff all week, and impressively, it's all been healthy, nutritious food. He's both dropped him off and picked him up from daycare, and then come home and still been the sole care taker. He's dressed him every morning, and gotten him ready for bed every night. He's kept up with the dishes and vacuuming, and general pick up. Not once has he complained that I have barely lifted a finger. Not once have I had to answer questions like "where are his shoes" or "what clothes should he wear". I never get a complaint when Griffin is cranky and acting like a jerk. Ryan just takes care of it, and deals with it.

I am lucky. I am very aware that a lot of other husbands struggle with the smallest of tasks. I have friends, and I have heard the complaints. I'm not trying to be smug, and imply that it makes mine the better marriage. It's the better marriage for me though, and what got me to thinking about how lucky I am to have found someone that takes care of me in the way that I need it. I'll take the peace of mind in knowing that my son and my house are being well cared for when I can't, any day over flowers and sweet talk.

So I have to give Ryan huge props for being such a good husband and dad. I may joke about the lack of romantic gestures, but in all honesty, I'm ok with it. I truely appreciate and love the marriage that we have, and all that he does do for me. Even if it's not someone elses idea of good marriage.

I am bored out of my mind!

Who would have thought that it would be hard to take it easy? I just couldn't stand it today, so I made a huge pot of spaghetti sauce and meatballs, and then I baked snickerdoodles. Both were really yummy, and I was craving a good homecooked meal, but I am paying the price for it now. My head is pounding right down to my teeth. I guess that I way overdid it today.

So it's back to hanging out in bed and watching movies. Good time of year for that atleast. Last night, I watched The Polar Express, Christmas Vacation, and The Santa Clause. I've probably never mentioned this, but I'm a holiday movie junky!! Really, I am. From the cartoons, to the really corny ones, to the classics, I love them all. My dvr is set to record just about any holiday movie I could find. Not to mention my own dvds that I have sadly not watched yet this year. It wouldn't be Christmas without watching Holiday Inn or White Christmas- Bing's voice just melts my heart! I have to watch Meet me in St Louis. It's not necessarily a Christmas movie, but to hear Judy Garland sing Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas, it's perfect. Then I also have Love Actually- I just actually love this movie to! My absolute favorite holiday movie though, is A Christmas Story, and I don't watch that until Christmas Eve. It's my own little tradition in my house since Ryan doesn't like the movie (seriously, I married a guy that doesn't think that F-R-A-G-I-L-E is hysterical).

I'm raising my kid right though. I'm starting him young, and instilling in him the importance of watching holiday classics. With any luck, in a couple of years, I'll have a buddy to watch A Christmas Story with me. This year, I'm starting him off slow. He's watched all the holiday versions of his favorite cartoons like Dora, and then I've slipped in some classic Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and Frosty the Snowman in there. So far, Frosty is his favorite! I tried to get him to watch Santa Clause is Coming to Town, but he wasn't really into it. I guess that he wasn't a fan of the Burgermeister Meisterburger.

I had my first post-op visit today. One word......YUCK!!! Seriously, they suctioned out some of the packing, and it brought tears to my eyes. I can't imagine how it's going to feel to have the splints taken out. I'm a baby, I admit it, but this isn't for the faint of heart.

So now I have a whole list of medications, and instructions to follow. Saline spray every hour, cream up my nose 4x's a day, stand over steam, take prednisone, antibiotics, and of course pain meds. Got my pain meds bumped up to percocets though, so no complaints there. Then there is my sleeping situation- I won't be able to lay flat for weeks. I thought that it was only for the first week, but I was wrong.

There is one plus to this whole surgery- I don't have black eyes! Everything is done from the inside and there is no breaking involved, so that means no bruising. I actually don't have a ton of swelling either. If it wasn't for the attractive gauze under my nose, it may not be real noticable to anyone but me.

So there is deviated septum and sinus surgery summed up, just in case you might be considering it. I had BETTER get some relief from my headaches after this. They keep telling my how much better I'll be able to breathe. What's funny is that I never noticed any trouble breathing before. Maybe I was just used to it? I don't know, but I'm really curious to feel the difference.

The surgery went well. No complications, and it went as expected. I don't remember much of anything about the whole thing. I remember going into the operating room and shifting from one bed to the other, and that was about it. I was in a lot of pain afterwards, so I was given morphine, dilaudid, and then 2 vicodins. I was pretty out of it. When we got home, I pretty much slept for the rest of the day, and was comfortable.

Today, I'm in pain. I've been taking the vicodins every 4 hrs, but I don't think it's cutting it. I have an appt tomorrow to check the packing, and I'll mention it. I still have gauze taped to my face because of the oozing and bleeding. Not pretty!

I've got a little camp set up in my bedroom, complete with my laptop, my cell phone, the tv, the portable dvd player, my kindle, and of course my meds! Tonight I came downstairs to eat dinner, and Griffin begged me to stay. I couldn't turn him down. It's funny how being up for 2 hours has completely wiped my out though. So, it's back to bed for me now that Griffin has gone to sleep.

Tomorrow is the big day. The big 3-5. Advanced maternal age. I guess with the thought of surgery, I sort of forgot about this little fertility milestone that I am reaching. I'm not really sure how I feel about this. It's not like I feel any different, but the number makes it so official.

Tomorrow is also my sinus surgery, and I'm so nervous about it. Really I'm nervous about the amount of pain that I'll be in afterwards, and not being able to breath. The thought of the packing and the splints up my nose makes me queasy. My head has been pounding for the past 2 days. I'm taking it as a good reminder of exactly why I'm going through with the surgery. I'm really hoping that it makes a difference.

I've got about 20 minutes left here at work. When I get home, I have to finish up some housework like laundry and changing my sheets. I have to be at the hospital at 7:40 am, so I also need to get to bed early. Atleast I have stuff to keep my mind off everything.

So happy birthday to me! Tomorrow should be fun. Just the way anyone would want to spend their birthday. Ha!

I had my pre-op appt on Tuesday. It went exactly how I expected that it would. Just my luck, I got the nurse that says I'll only be out of work for 1 week. Interesting since my friend who had the same surgery was out of work for 3 weeks. Not that I'm expecting the worst, but I certainly don't want to be rushed back either. I don't even get the splints taken out of my nose until 1 week after surgery.

I am so ready for Christmas! I put my tree up & it's almost completely decorated. It looks so pretty! I love when I get home at night and Ryan leaves it on for me. I have almost all of my shopping done. The things that I have left to buy are just small odds & ends. I've actually wrapped about 1/2 of it already as well. I ordered my Christmas cards, and they came in today. While I'm laying in bed recovering, I'll probably get them addressed. I've never been this far ahead during the holidays, it feels good.

My friends at work had an early birthday party for me tonight. It was really nice, and very sweet of them to do. They made me a delicious dinner, and baked a cake. Because they know me so well, they all pitched in for a gift certificate for my favorite spa. Good timing, because I'm going there on Friday. I have to have the shellac removed from my nails. That stuff is seriously amazing. I only have 1 nail that has chipped, but because they have grown so much I have to get it removed. Plus, I can't have any nail polish on for surgery. So on my nails, I would say that I got 10 days of perfect polish. Not bad at all.

Happy Belated Thanksgiving! I hope everyone enjoyed a nice day, and ate lots. We had a nice day. My family went out to a restaurant for lunch. 31 of us, believe it or not! Afterwards, Ryan and I invited everyone back to our house. Not everyone could make it to our "after party" but I think we still had about 15 people over. I did all of the cooking ahead of time, so I had the opportunity to relax and visit with everyone.

Now it's on to Christmas, and I say Bring It On!! I love Christmas, and it's going to be so much fun with Griffin this year. He still doesn't understand the whole concept of Santa, but he's starting to get it. I can't wait to watch the classic Christmas specials with him. Maybe we'll have the opportunity to sit on Santa's lap at some point. I can't wait until Christmas morning, and to see his face!

I just hope that my surgery doesn't put to much of a damper on the whole thing. I'm almost done with my shopping, so I have one less thing to worry about, and can just focus on the recovery.

Oh, I almost forgot.........my nails are still holding up. Seriously, there isn't a chip in them at all. The only difference is that they have grown and you can see where the polish ends and my new nail has grown. Since I have the french manicure, it's not obvious to anyone but me yet. From normal distance, it still looks like I have the perfect manicure. This is just incredible, considering that I've done tons of cooking and cleaning this past week. Not to mention the endless dishes that I've washed from all the cooking!

Ok, so here are a couple shots of my nails. I took these on the 2nd day. Today is day 3 and already, I'm impressed. I threw a kids birthday party yesterday, and then scrubbed my house today, and not a single chip! They still look fabulous.




Griffin's party went well. I'm really glad that I did it at Twice the Fun. I decided not to spend the money to rent it out private, so we did it during a public play session. It's only $7 per kid, and then $35 for use of the party room. My goal of keeping it simple, but fun was accomplished. The kids had such a good time, and we were done by noon. Griffin changed his toon about not wanting a birthday party once all his friends got there. He really loved it!

So do you love manicures, but won't get them because your nail polish is chipped and ruined within a day? I just had a manicure today and got this new shellac that they call the "2 week mani". Maybe it's not new, but I hadn't heard about it until recently, and I'm so excited about this. It is still your natural nail, but they polish it in some special shellac polish (it comes in colors or french) that they layer on and cure it under a uv light. It doesn't come off, even with polish remover! So to remove it you have to go back to the salon. Anyway, I had it done today and my nails look fabulous! I can't wait to see how well it lasts, and how it looks as my nails grow out. Here's a link to the one that I had done

http://www.cnd.com/Consumer.aspx

OPI makes one as well, but for my nails my salon recommended the Creatives brand. I will totally update my blog with my whole nail situation and how well it lasts. If you're wondering where I went to get this done, it's at the Skin Health Medi Spa. I know other places do it, but I just LOVE these girls. They are all super friendly, and welcoming. I haven't had a bad service there yet, and I go a pretty frequently. Here's the link for them

http://www.doverskinhealth.com

Happy Birthday Griffin!!

He is mad that it's his birthday. He keeps saying "I'm NOT 3!" and "I don't want my birthday". It's very funny. I'm not really sure what he has against his birthday.

Griffin had his 3 year physical today. He is now 36 in. tall, and he weighs 32lbs. So I believe he is in the 56th percentile for his height and only the 21st percentile for weight. Everything is normal, and he's a really healthy kid. I'm very lucky. He got his flu shot, and his Hep A vaccination today. I felt so bad when they jabbed those needles in his arms. His little face turned beet red and the tears started. He took it like a trooper though, and he only cried for about a minute. After that, he was totally over it, and wanted to play. Just like him!

It's hard for me to believe that in just a few more days, my little boy is turning 3. We went to a birthday party today, and some of the people there hadn't seen him since he was a baby. So they were suprised to see how big he has gotten. In truth, I'm suprised sometimes myself. It's not like I didn't know that he was going to keep growing, but there are some days that I just look at him and wonder where my tiny little baby went. I know that it's common and all moms think that about their kids, but for me the thought that he may be my only baby makes me want to make it last as long as I can. Wishful thinking!

Speaking of my growing little boy, he's almost potty trained!! He's doing so well with it. Not a single accident today, and that's saying a lot since we went to that birthday party and then I took him shopping. I'm one proud Momma! This week we also go him his first big boy bed. I don't plan on starting to transition him to it until after the holidays. After my surgery, I'm banishing Ryan to the spare room. So he'll be sleeping in it for about a week. After that, my plan is to move it to Griff's room and let him start with taking naps in it and see how it goes.

Last Saturday was a huge success with Christmas shopping for Griffin. We are done! I'm talking right down to his stocking stuffers! It's such a relief to not have to worry about it. Now I have to get shopping for everyone else on my list. If I have some time tomorrow, I'd like to break out the egg nog and start wrapping.

I have another busy weekend coming up. Work on Saturday, and then a birthday party to go to on Sunday. Luckily, the birthday party is in the morning. So I'm hoping to get some chores done in the afternoon. I'm itching to get all my carpets shampooed. I just really haven't had the time. Griffin decided that pooping on the floor in the bedroom would be fun yesterday, making the carpet cleaning an even more pressing issue. How fun!

Yes, my little boy is loads of fun. Today, he went in the bathroom and splashed water EVERYWHERE! Huge puddle on the floor, water dripping down the walls, and there was so much water in the hamster cage that there wasn't a dry shaving in it. So in all the rushing around to get ready for work, I had to clean the hamster cage that I had just cleaned. I was not a happy Mommy.

I have the day off tomorrow for the holiday, and I get to spend it with my little mischief maker. I have a feeling that I'll need another day off to recover from it.

Busy, busy weekend planned! Today Ryan and I are dropping Griffin off at my mother in laws house so that we can do all the birthday and Christmas shopping for him. I'm excited-I love shopping for Griffin. He's getting mostly toys from us, so it's going to be even more fun to do shopping. Plus, it will be a nice afternoon spent with my hubby. I'm hoping that I get a nice lunch out of the whole trip. Tomorrow we're celebrating my mother in law's 60th birthday. She's having all of her family over in the afternoon. Should be a lot of fun.

I was looking at my calendar and noticing how busy this whole month is going to be. Between birthday parties and Dr appts. it's crazy! Not to forget Thanksgiving. Plus, my plan is to get all my Christmas shopping done before my surgery. Very ambitious!

I have a cold, and it's kicking my ass. A stupid cold. I'm home again from work because my head is pounding. My sinus headache has turned into a full migraine. So now I'm torn between taking cold medicine or migraine meds.

Yesterday, I went to the ENT Dr and he is recommending surgery for my deviated septum, and to correct my narrow sinus passages. I am soooo not looking forward to it. The surgery is scheduled for Dec 7th - my 35th birthday. Happy birthday to me! Needless to say, I'll be putting off any IVF cycles until the new year. I'm praying that this surgery helps with my headaches and migraine, and that it will be worth it.

Yup, I've been a bad blogger. I admit it. I've started 2 different posts, but never finished either one of them. Things have been busy lately, which is good since it takes my mind off trying to get pregnant, and failed IVF cycles.

I finally had time to put up some pictures. The first one is from Ryans cousins wedding. That was a couple of weeks ago. The rest were taken at Jenness Farm last weekend. I went there on Saturday with my friend Kelly, and liked it so much that I brought Griffin back on Sunday. Griffin and I met up with my mother and she went with us. The police officer is my niece who works in that town. She happened to be on duty that day, and we got to visit with her for a couple of minutes.

Yesterday, my friend Halie put on a Halloween carnival for the kids. Griffin dressed up as a fireman, and looked so cute! I'm still trying to get all those pictures loaded and will post them at a later time. The party was a lot of fun, and the kids really had a blast! Griffin had a tantrum when it was time to leave, and when I asked him about it this morning, he said that he wanted to stay at the party! AWWWWWW :(

I'm at work today, and for some reason, it's busier than normal. So, I should get back to paying attention to my customers.....UGH!

I haven't posted since my embryo transfer. I've been trying to stay calm, relaxed and positive. So, I've done my best to not dwell on any of it. Hence, no posting or talking about any of it. However, the last two days have felt very PMSish to me. So I broke down and did a test today. Not suprisingly, it was negative. My blood test isn't until Tuesday, so it will be official then-unless of course, my period shows up before. I'm in a crappy mood over it, so that's about all I have to say about the whole thing right now.

In much more positive news, on Wed night I will be seeing a friend that I haven't seen since Jr High! Through the magic of Facebook, we have reconnected. She lives in Texas now, and will be in NH visiting this week. I'm very excited! I can't wait to dig out the old, and really horrible pictures of us. I think I'll need a few margaritas.......

Out of the 6 eggs that fertilized, only 2 embryos were good enough to use. So today we transferred just 1 high grade embryo, and froze the 2nd one. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this little embie is my next little miracle.

Got the call from my Dr's office & out of the 14 eggs, only 6 fertilized. I know that it's more than some people get, but I am a bit disappointed. So we'll go back on Friday for the embryo transfer. We'll see then how many out of the 6 are still doing well. This whole process is such a roller coaster.

I'm still tired and sore today. I made Ryan take Griffin out for a while so that I could get a nap. I really needed to rest. When they got back, I took Griffin out to go apple picking. He was so cute, and just loved it there. Apple crisp came out of the oven just a little while ago- can't wait to eat it!!

Just a quick update. I'm really tired, and pretty sore. The egg retrieval went really well though. They were able to get 14 eggs! I'm very happy about that. It's more than I've ever got before. I'm pleasantly suprised to say the least. Tomorrow afternoon, my Dr's office will call and let me know how many of those fertilized. Can't wait for that call!

Tomorrow is my egg retrieval surgery. I've been feeling really uncomfortable and bloated so I'm kind of looking forward to getting them out of me. My last ultrasound showed some good ones, so I can't wait to see how many they get and how many are mature. I've never been one of those women that gets like 20 or more, and I'm not expecting that at all, but I'd like to get at least 10 mature eggs.

I'm spending today prepping for surgery. Not that I have lots to do, but I'm trying to drink plenty of water since I can't have any after midnight. I want to stay really hydrated. I also want to get all my housework and errands done. That way I can completely relax tomorrow when I get home. I also need to call and make appointments for acupuncture. I'd like to get in a session on Thursday before the embryo transfer and then on Friday for after.

I'm so glad that we're on vacation this week. I feel so much more relaxed while trying to do all of this. Yesterday, I had a bunch of the girls over for that Scentsy party. It went really well- I did way better than I had expected. Plus, we had a good time. I made a bunch of yummy food, some equally yummy cocktails and it was great to visit with everyone. It really was a fun way to start off my vacation.

Besides my IVF stuff, I'm hoping that we get to go to the fairs this week. If we can't make Fryeburg, I really want to at least go to Deerfield. I think Griffin will love seeing the animals and the farm equipment. Besides that, we'll just see what the week brings us. I'm content to not be at work and that's a good enough vacation for me!

Me: Here Griff let me put cartoons on for you. Can you give me the remote?

Griffin: Mommy got the "fucking remote"

I just about fell over, but I wasn't 100% sure that was what he said. So I calmly and nonchalantly ask him "What did you say?"

Just as calmly and nonchalantly, he says "the fucking remote"

Yup, no question now. That's definitely what he said. Clear as day, and as if he was born to say the F word. Even used it in the correct context. If it wasn't for the fact that he's only 2 1/2, I might consider this a good use of an adjective.

So what did I do about it? I did what every other mother in history has done- I called Ryan and blamed it on him! The conversation started something like this "Do you know what YOUR son just said?".

LMFAO!!

I had an ultrasound a blood work this morning. So far, there are 4 follicles on the left and 5 on the right that are measurable. It's not a fabulous number, but it only takes 1. I have to remember that it's completely about the quality and not the quantity. My E2 level is 548. I have to be honest and say that I don't really pay attention to that. I only know because the nurse mentioned it when she called and said that it's a good number.

So, I'm staying on my current dosages of the Gonal-F and the Luveris. Tonight I'll add in the Ganirilex as well. That will keep my LH from surging which would cause ovulation. It will help those follies grow and mature. So now I'm on 3 shots a day. Atleast the needles are tiny, and don't hurt.

Side effects are still minimal- for now. The worst right now is the hot flashes and the sweating. Of course, this would be the time that the weather decides to get warm. I really need it to be in the 60's.

My best guess right now is that my egg retrieval surgery will be on Monday. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it's not Sunday. I'm having a Scentsy party at my house, and have my friends and family coming for brunch. I'm really looking forward to it since I haven't had people over for a while. The Scentsy party is sort of secondary- I'm just looking forward to spending time with the girls and having some yummy food and a possibly a couple of mimosas. I'm praying that it will be the last time I can have a mimosa for 9 months!

I'm finally back on my regular shift, and I couldn't be happier. Working until midnight every night was not the best thing for me. I wanted it to work out, I really did. Not having to go in until 4 was great. The late nights just weren't cutting it for me though. So now I'm getting to bed at a decent time and getting more sleep, and I've been feeling somewhat better.

My next appointment with my Dr is scheduled at the end of the month and I am planning on talking to her about fibromyalgia and whether it's possible that I have it. I've been reading about it lately and I have a lot of the symptoms. It would certainly explain a lot.

Now the important stuff- I have started my meds for my next IVF. So far, I'm feeling ok. No major side effects or moodiness yet. Then again, it's only been 4 days. I go for blood work and an ultrasound on Wed. to check my progress. I haven't told anyone. Except, of course, anyone reading this. I've never kept it a secret before, and it's not really my intention to do that now. It's just that I don't really feel like discussing it so much lately. To be honest, I'm not really that excited about it. I'm not feeling negative or anything, just not excited. This is my 4th fresh cycle, so perhaps it's just sort of becoming routine. It's really hard to describe the feeling.

I actually enjoyed some days of being headache free, and I'm sad to report that my luck has run out. I'm very frustrated, to say the least. I've been on birth control pills to prepare for my upcoming IVF and I took the last one on Sunday night. So I'm sure that the hormone fluctuation was the trigger this time. I've taken my medication, and now I'm praying that I caught it early enough that it goes away.

So why the hell am I on my computer when my head is splitting?? Well, I always have good intentions of blogging when Griffin does stuff that I find funny or particularly cute, but I ALWAYS forget. By the time I sit down with the computer, I forgot whatever it was that I wanted to write. Since I haven't done a scrapbook, this is my only record of those things.

Now after that whole explanation, you're probably expecting this extremely funny story. Sorry to disappoint, it's not that funny. I just found it to be really cute, but it's also a reminder to me of how my little boy is growing up and becoming his own little man. So here goes- this morning while I was folding laundry in my room, Griff grabbed a bunch of his toys and brought them in. Since there are toys all over the rest of my house, I'd prefer to keep them out of my bedroom. So, I stop him just as he's walking in, and I tell him that he needs to bring them back to his room. He actually says to me "but I need something to do Mommy!" Oh really?! Not expecting to get much of a response, I say "If you need something to do, go downstairs and pick up your toys". In his most reluctant tone he says "OoooooKaaayyy" and he actually did it.

Then because he can't get any cuter, as we were getting ready to leave and I was helping him put on his shoes, he leans in to me and says "you smell pretty Mommy". I just love that little guy!

I finished reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo this morning. I LOVED it! Now I can't wait to read the other 2 in the series. If you happen to be looking for something good to read, I highly recommend it. I'm horrible at giving a book description without giving away too many details, so you'll have to look it up.

I seem to be doing better for the last 2 days with my headaches. Knock on wood! Maybe I'll be lucky enough to actually go for a week without one. Just my luck though- I had another sleepless night last night. I just don't get it. If it's not one thing, it's another. I really just want to feel normal.

I just talked to Ryan, and he has now messed up my plans for tomorrow. He has to work until 11:30. I wanted to get up early and do some shopping. I desperately need groceries, and a trip to BJ's. Bringing Griffin with me is the last thing that I wanted to do. He's so not well behaved in stores, and I have so much to do. Time to go find a solution....

Unless you REALLY have to, stay away from emergency rooms on Saturday nights. How do I know this? Well that's how I spent my early morning.

I worked yesterday, but I should have stayed home. I had a migraine that just wouldn't quit, and really it just seemed to get worse with medication. By the end of my shift at midnight it was so bad that I couldn't even stand it. I was nauseous and vomiting and even dizzy. I tried to call my Dr's on-call number twice but couldn't get a hold of anyone. So my friend Sherry at work drove me to the ER.

First of all, there's nothing like sitting in the ER waiting room with a migraine. I don't want to complain because I'm sure that there were people that needed to be seen way ahead of me, but I would have gladly waited in a dark room if they had offered it. Oh, and forget about the really strange people waiting in there with me. All I can say about that is WTF???? The guy that ended up being treated in the room next to me was there under arrest because he was tearing apart his apartment and beating himself up. The nurse asked him if he had a history of mental illness. Um, isn't that obvious?!!

So they when they finally started treating me, they were kind enough to dim the lights in my little room. I got a nice IV (you should see the bruises) with a cocktail of 3 different drugs. I don't even remember what they gave me. I fell asleep and about an hour later they came to check on me. I felt better, so they released me. So at 4am I had to call Ryan to come pick me up.

When I finally got home, I was wiped. I ended up sleeping until 2:30 this afternoon. The rest of the day was spent relaxing and I finished reading a book that I had been looking forward to finishing last night. It's not how I wanted to spend my holiday weekend, but atleast I'm feeling better.

The Yo Gabba Gabba show turned out to be really cute. Griffin liked it and couldn't take his eyes off the stage. Our day didn't start so well though. When he woke up, he wanted Ryan and cried when I said that Ryan was at work. Then he said "I don't like you mumma", "I like Daddy". UMMM........if that wasn't like a kick in the gut!! From there he just continued to whine and cry about absolutely nothing. He seemed better after he got dressed, but when my friend Betty came to pick us up, he started crying again because he wanted to ride in my car instead. I literally had to hold him down while I buckled him in! He settled down on the ride, and was really good at the show. We took the kids to lunch after and he was even pretty good at the restaurant.

This morning ended up being much like yesterday morning. The only good thing about today is that he didn't tell me that he didn't like me. It's a sad day when I actually look forward to going to work. Needless to say, I was at the end of my rope. Of course I felt so horrible about our crappy morning that I was in tears on my way to work.

I'm praying for a better day tomorrow.

Tomorrow is the BIG day!! The Yo Gabba Gabba Live show. I know it's probably hard for you to all to contain your jealousy......... LOL! Actually, you could be wondering WTH Yo Gabba Gabba is. It's a really odd, kind of bizarre kids show. Griff likes it though, so I'm bringing him. It's supposed to be really hot tomorrow and this gig is outside. Should be very interesting.

I've decided to start another IVF cycle. I've had a break since June, and with my headaches, I was going to wait a bit longer. However, with the timing, it could work out so that my egg retrieval and embryo transfer both fall on my vacation at the end of Sept. How sweet would that be? So right now, I'm taking the birth control pill (for anyone unfamiliar-yes, that's part of my IVF protocol) until the 12th and then I'll go from there.

I haven't really told many people yet that we're going to try again. I'm not really sure why though. I'm not really excited about it. That's not to say that I'm feeling negative though. It's hard to describe it. Perhaps it will change as I get a little closer and start to take the actual stimming meds. So, we'll see how it goes.

Wouldn't you know that it poured all day long! So that meant no Storyland for us. For a couple different reasons, we decided to go to the Dover Childrens Museum instead. BIG MISTAKE!! A rainy, crappy day right before school starts. We should have turned around when we had a hard time finding a parking space. We actually had to wait in line to get inside!

Griffin did ok, but he was obviously overwhelmed by the amount of people in there. It was hard to walk around, and there were some exhibits that we couldn't even see because there were so many people around it or waiting for it. We only stayed for about an hour.

We took him to lunch at Applebees after we left the museum. He got chicken fingers and french fries, and that made his day! So I guess that either we go to Storyland on a weekend or we have to wait until next year at this point. I'm also trying to talk Ryan into checking out the Boston Childrens Museum.

The headaches continue. I'm home from work again because my head is pounding. I've slept most of the day, and now I'm just relaxing. It's about time for more pain meds I think.

Anyway, I wanted to update the latest on my CT scans. The good news is that my brain scan was normal- no tumors or anything like that. The not so good news is that the facial scan showed that I have narrowing of the upper nasal passages, and a deviated septum. Ryan, has been telling me that I've been snoring a lot lately (how lovely, I know), so that would seem to make sense. The Dr is putting me on a steriod, nasal spray for now. I'm guessing that it's for the narrowing, and not the septum issue. I go back at the end of Sept for a follow-up. If I'm still having the headaches, then I'll have to go to the ENT specialist. Oh Joy!

It turned out that there were 2 tests, but they were both CT scans. One of my face/sinuses and the other of my brain. My Dr had mentioned the contrasting dye, and even did blood work to make sure that my kidneys could handle it. So I was expecting this to be a much bigger deal, but they didn't use the dye at all. I was in and out of there in 5 minutes (of course that was after I waited 45 mns to get in). I should hear back from my Dr either Monday or Tuesday with the results.

I had an awesome acupuncture appointment right after my CT scan. I left there feeling so relaxed, and headache free! I went home after and took a 3 hour nap.

Ryan is on vacation this week. Unfortunately, I am not. I think that his plans mostly consist of doing work around the house and getting some projects done. I'm not complaining! We are going to take Griffin to StoryLand on Wed though. I think (keeping my fingers crossed)that he's going to really enjoy it. I'm not sure if he's quite tall enough for all of the rides just yet, but I know that are still a lot of them that he'll be able to go on. I've never been there myself- so I'm actually really looking forward to it.

I tried to call my mother today to get an update on my niece, but she didn't answer. So, I'm assuming that she's doing well or else I'm sure that my mother would have called me.

I went to my Dr today to discuss my migraines & headaches. Got my Rx for percocet refilled and then I'm switching my migraine meds as well. She is also sending me for a head CT and a brain scan. After I left there and got to thinking about it- aren't they the same test?? The way that she worded it, it sounded like 2 seperate tests. The hospital will call me to schedule the appt or appts, I'll find out then. My Dr also highly recommended that I call and make the appt to try biofeedback. The neurologist had recommended it, but for one reason or another I didn't call. Maybe it was the fact that I'M SO SICK OF DR APPTS!! I guess I'll make that appointment some time this week.......or maybe I should wait until after the tests?!!

I don't know all of the details yet, but my niece, Fawn, is having emergency surgery today. I'm sure that she could use all the prayers and thoughts today to get her through this safely.

QUICK UPDATE: She's going to be fine. Appearantly, she has some major kidney stones. So today they put in a stent to relieve the pain & pressure. She'll keep that for 2 weeks and then have to go back for surgery to have the stones removed. They also found an ovarian cyst, but she'll be referred to a GYN for that. I'm very relieved!

Another week of fighting with a headache to go away. It's driving me nuts! Between having a headache and taking the meds, I feel like I've been in a fog for most of the week. In fact, tonight I've taken a Percocet, so this post may be full of mispellings, and a bunch of rambling. Forgive me. It will be kind of like drunk blogging, except that I won't hugging and kissing you, and telling you how much I love you!

This is also the week that we have decided to try potty training Griffin. I'm not sure that it's going as well as we had hoped. We've put him in underwear all week and the only time he's worn diapers is to bed. Needless to say, I've had to do a lot of pissy laundry this week. He only goes potty when we tell him to, and never on his own accord. So, I'm trying to decide if I should throw in the towel for now and try again later or keep going since we're already 4 days into it.

Since he's peed through so many clothes, I sometimes let him run around naked. It got me thinking about how I never imagined in my life, until I had a kid, having to tell someone to get their fingers out of their butt! Though it's not nearly as bad as having that same butt (and other parts) stuck in your face because your son thinks you are a human jungle gym.

Gross right?!

My first day back to work sucked just as much as I thought it would. I was 2 minutes late. I forgot that I needed to stop and get gas, and then when I got there, I had a hard time finding parking. My manager wasn't there, but really I was thinking "is 2 mns really a big deal?" I'm rarely late. The last time that I was late was about a year ago when my babysitter didn't show up on time. I didn't think too much about it, until I noticed that my manager had actually put it on my record.

By the way, yes, it wasn't a typo, it was TWO minutes!!!

So the two managers that were sitting up at the desk, said nothing to me (not that they talk to anyone anyway) but they made sure that they notified my mgr. In high school weren't those childish micro-managers called "hall monitors"?? It's now the end of the week and my manager still hasn't even mentioned it to me. Just one more reason to love my job!!

The dreaded end of vacation. UGH!! I just hate the thought of going back to work tomorrow. I suppose that there are bills to be paid though, so I have no choice!

We spent these last couple of days relaxing and hanging out around the house. I actually spent a little time getting pampered. On Friday I went to acupuncture and then headed over to the spa. I got my spray tan, and then had my eyelashes and eyebrows tinted. Sounds kind of random and odd, but I've really wanted to try it for a long time. So I skipped the pedicure and tried that instead. Since I rarely wear makeup in the summer, you can barely see my really light brows & lashes. Now I don't have to worry about it. I love the results! Then yesterday, I got a much needed haircut & highlight. I feel like a new woman!

I think that I need to start a blog about the funny crap my kid says. However, by the time I remember to write things down, I forget what he has said. Today, I did remember this- Now picture Griffin underneath the end table, trying to get behind the couch.
Ryan: Griffin what are you doing?
Griffin: I bugging da kitty.

Atleast he's honest.

Total picture overload! I probably took about 300 pictures on this trip. By the time I erased duplicates and uneeded shots, I have about 200 left. So really, this is just a small sample!





This is our flat tire out in EBF!

The ducks


The view from our cabin & then a couple of the cabin



Griffin playing with the kids

My inlaws

Some randoms




This is the pebble beach area. Notice the really cool teepee that someone built.



The campfire and sunset




More randoms



I just loved this sign. I'm not sure if it's in Kakajo or right oustide of it. That's the town where the population= very few. I had to get a picture of it, and come to find out, Ryans' grandfather loved that sign as well.

We're back from our trip, and all I can say is that it went by way too fast! We had a really good time. Our cabin was basic, so it still felt like camping, but we had running water, and a kitchen. It was bigger than what we needed with full size bunk beds downstairs and then a loft with 4 twin size beds. The campground was clean, and our cabin was immaculate. The location and the view are the real bragging points though. The campground is 6 1/2 miles down a dirt road, off the main road. It's located right on Moosehead Lake, and all of our sites were right on the water.

We started our trip on Sunday morning. Our plan was to leave at 8am, but we didn't get out of the house until about 9:30. I was trying to not feel rushed since we are on vacation, but I guess that I wasn't as organized as I had hoped. After a stop at the ATM, a gas station, and a really long, expensive trip into Cabelas, we didn't get to the campground until close to 5. Ryans parents, his brother and family, his aunt and uncle, and then another aunt and her family were all there. So we got a quick tour, visited with everyone, and before we knew it, it was time for a late dinner and then bed.

Monday was a beautiful day, but it was insanely windy! So windy, that it made the lake look like the ocean, and put a chill in the air. The lake was so rough and choppy that no one could boat or kayak. Ryan and I decided it was a good opportunity to take a ride and explore. On the ride out of the campground, we got to see a moose. Unfortunately, I couldn't get a picture. There was a van in front of us, and they had the perfect view. Anyway, we checked out a lot of the really back roads, and went through teeny tiny towns where the population= very few (seriously, that's what the sign said). We had to cut our travels short when we got a flat tire in EBF somewhere. I mean seriously way out on a dirt road! When we got back to camp, we did more "camp" stuff- took walks, sat by the water, made drinks.

Tuesday, the wind died down considerably. After breakfast, we noticed that everyone was awake, so I grabbed my cup of coffee and we went visiting. We started over at my in-laws and made our way around. We all ended up at Ryans aunts site where we all sat out by the water and had coffee and chatted in our pj's. It turned out to be an absolutely gorgeous day, so after I finally took a shower and got dressed, I got Griffin into his swim shorts and let him go in the lake. It must have worn him out because for the first time since he was a newborn, I got him to lay down in bed and take a nap with me. If you know Griffin, you know that the kid doesn't sleep anywhere but his crib. In fact, we had to bring the pack & play with us for him to sleep in. It's a good thing that we brought it! The first night that we were there, Ryan tried to get him to sleep in the bed with him, and Griffin just couldn't do it. He went back and forth between the bed and the p&p a couple of times before he finally settled into the p&p and fell asleep.

After our nap, a group of us took a hike to an area called pebble beach. Not a real challenging hike, but it was a little further than I had expected, and some of it was through some really thick woods. I was keeping my eyes open for moose (and bears!). It was a really neat beach area though. The kids had a great time swimming and playing there. When we got back, Ryans aunt Paula cooked dinner for everyone. Since it had been so windy the previous nights, we couldn't have a campfire. Really, what is camping without a fire?? So after dinner, Ryans brother started a campfire. I stayed long enough to make a couple S'mores, but I have to be honest, it was too hot. I tried staying as far as I could away from it, but I was so hot that I was sweating. So I went for a walk with my mother in law. By the time that we got back, Ryan had already gone back to our cabin to get Griffin settled for bed.

This morning, I made us a big camp breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast. When we finished eating, we started packing up and getting ready to leave. I forgot to mention the ducks. From the moment that we got there, Griffin was fascinated by them. Really, I was fascinated by them as well. There were lots of momma ducks with their babies. It was neat because there were babies at all different ages. Some babies were still small and fuzzy, and some were bigger than their mommas. It was cool to see the interaction between them and how the mommas watched out for their babies, etc. Since you're not supposed to feed them people food, we bought bags of duck food at the camp store, and of course, I must have bought about 20 bags. Before we left this morning, we had to feed the ducks one last time.

We left about 10:30 this morning, and didn't get home until 5:30. No shopping trips on the way home, but we made a lot of stops. I'm so glad that we decided to take this trip. It really did go by way too fast though. It was a good way to try out traveling with Griffin, since we weren't sure how he would do for a longer period of time. The reservations for next year have already been booked. So far, Ryans' family has reserved 8 sites and cabins. Next year we are going to stay the whole week . Griffin will be older, and he'll be ready to do the full week. I'm excited.

Ryan grew up going to Maine camping with his parents and grandparents. I think that it is really special that he'll be doing it now with Griffin. I'm looking forward to passing it along to our son.

AHHHHH...........VACATION!!!!!!!!!!!

Tomorrow morning we are heading out for a camping trip on Moosehead Lake in ME. I'm really excited to get away for a couple of days. My niece is house/pet sitting for us so I'll have no worries while we're gone.

I'm off to bed now. I still have to finish packing tomorrow morning!

Well the relief that I was feeling was temporary. When I got up this morning, I could tell that I wasn't out of the woods. So I spent much of my day in bed or on the couch again. I've taken more migraine meds, and now I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that I'll be in the clear tomorrow.

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate migraines?!

This is how I spent my day:
woke up at 7 with a headache (took aspirin)
got Griffin ready for daycare, and sent him off with Ryan
back to bed at 8:30
back up again a couple of hours later with a full blown migraine
tried to have some coffee and a little bit to eat
my body rejected the food, if you know what I mean
took migraine meds & went back to bed
up a couple of hours later, my head still hurt, but too soon to take more meds
tried eating a little again
called in to work
went back to bed
hungry dog woke me up
think my head is feeling better, but go back to sleep
wake up when Ryan & Griffin get home
realize that I am wrong, my head does not feel better
take more migraine meds
eat dinner
go back to bed
get woken up by a thunder storm
take 4 Advils
plop down of the couch
think I may have finally taken enough meds and the migraine is breaking..........

I've been wanting to post some pics, and finally had the chance to today. So here's the new pool. Our yard is still a work in progress at this point, so please excuse the mess. The pictures of Griff were taken at my mothers house. He peed in his swim shorts, so he was cleaning his "pickle". That's my boy!

I'm going for accupuncture today. It's been about a month since I've gone last and I really miss it. I'm starting to have a hard time falling asleep again, and I've been feeling really irritable. My appointment is right before work, which should be nice since that is where I'm irritated the most!

Yesterday was my first day back after being off for 4 days. I can feel the tension as soon as I walk through that door. I've been trying so hard to ignore all the drama and just focus on my own stuff, but sometimes it's just so in my face that it's hard to ignore. It's the worst dysfunction that I've ever seen, and for some reason that's become the norm and it's just accepted. I don't understand it.

Why can't Ryan and I win the lottery??? We're good people, we deserve it right??!?!?

The services for Ryans gram were really nice. We had showers yesterday, but luckily they held off until the second that the burial was over. I have soooo much egg salad and chicken salad left over, it isn't even funny. I wasn't sure how many people would be there, so I way over estimated. I may be bringing it to work just to get rid of it all.

When we got home, Griffin and I rested for an hour. I dosed off while he watched cartoons. Then I thought that it was about time that we give our pool a try. It was still showering out, but I didn't let that stop us. The water was 80, and it felt so good. We don't plan on putting a deck around it until next year, and I can tell it's going to be a challenge with Griffin until then. It's hard to get him in and out with just the ladder and no landing. I'll have to make it work until then, I guess.

For the first time in a really long time, I went to bed at 8 last night. It was still light out! I just couldn't keep my eyes open though. Today, we're staying home and relaxing. We have to clean up the basement a bit so that the electrician has room to work, and wire our pool.

Back to work tomorrow after 4 days off, but only 12 more days until my vacation starts!!!

It's been a pretty busy week, and this weekend will be no different. Last night, Ryans' mom decided to have a cookout at her house. Ryan, being that man that's so in touch with emotion, asked me why she'd want to do a cookout when we'll see her tonight and Saturday. I had to explain to him that there was a good chance that since she just lost her mother, she may want to be surrounded by her family. Besides, we don't question, we just do!

Tonight we have the wake from 5-8, and family needs to be there at 4:30. The actual funeral and burial itself will be tomorrow, followed by a get together at my in-laws in the afternoon. I promised to make all the finger sandwiches and also some pulled pork. I may try to make a cake or some other type of dessert as well. Which means that I really need to go to the grocery store today.

Besides family stuff, we're still dealing with getting the pool started. We had the second water delivery, so it's now full. We have an electrician scheduled to come over on Monday to get it all wired and grounded so that we can finally get it running. It's been a long, HOT week and I have the urge to just jump in that thing everyday. I can't wait for it to be done.

Today Ryans' grandmother passed away. With my mother in law by her side, she lost her battle with cancer. I'm glad that she is no longer in pain, and suffering as she has been for these last couple of weeks. She is finally at peace.

Happy 4th of July!!

I hope that everyone had a happy, and fun holiday. We went to my mothers house for lunch, and swimming. Then for dinner, Ryans parents came here. It was a perfect day! Actually, it turned out to be an awesome weekend. Yesterday, I had to finish up my groceries, and I went for my spray tan. When I got home, I cooked dinner and we enjoyed it out on our deck. After both Ryan and Griff went to bed, I brought the portable dvd player out to the deck and watched a movie......and enjoyed a couple Midori Coladas!

Oh, and my pool is up!!! It's not ready for swimming yet, I have to get another load of water delivered. It should be all set this week though. I can't even put in to words how excited I am about this. I'll post a picture of it as soon as I have a chance.

I ran out of Midori Coladas, so tonight I mixed up some Chambord Margaritas. Another really yummy drink! Here's the recipe if you're a margarita fan:

1/2oz Chambord
1/2 oz triple sec
1 oz Tequila (I'm a snob and have to recommend Patron)
3 oz Margarita mix.


Finally, on a way more serious note, I'd appreciate any and all prayers for Ryans family. His grandmother isn't doing well, and doesn't have much time left. She's had cancer for a while, so it's not sudden or unexpected. However, I hope that her passing is peaceful and painless. I also hope that Ryans family has the strength to get through this.

So far, I'm really liking this new 4 to midnight shift. I've had time to get a lot of stuff done that I just can't do with limited time and a 2 yr old. Of course, this is only my 3rd day, so I may be saying something different by the end of the week. Griff and I spent the whole day together, and had a bit of retail therapy today. Then we met up with my brother Quentin for a little while. My little buddy was so upset that he couldn't spend the rest of the day with his "nuncle" Quentin, that he had a temper tantrum. Good times!

As of right now, we have no major plans for the 4th of July. I'm considering going to the fireworks, but I'm unsure. I think that it will be way too late, and we'll be risking an overtired, bratty little boy. I'm sure that no matter what, we'll be grilling out, and there may some margaritas or midori drinks involved. There has been some talk about our pool starting to go up on Friday. We'll see......

I have to work all day today, but I am totally prepared for when I get home. Before I left this morning, I made up another batch of Midori Coladas, and put the pitcher in the freezer. I'm counting down the time until 9pm!!

Here's the recipe if you want to try one of these yummy concoctions:
1 oz Midori
1 1/2 oz light rum
1 oz cream of coconut
3 oz pineapple juice
1 cup of ice

blend it up and enjoy!

I have been wanting to watch Food Inc for a while now, so finally this week I rented it on Amazon. It was as good as all the reviews, and I completely recommend it to everyone. Now if you're a bit nervous about being grossed out, I assure you that there are no graphic animal slaughter scenes. However, you'll get the idea. It's about so much more than the meat though, really it makes you examine every single thing that we eat.

Tonight I'm watching GasLand. I listen to Rosie on Sirius Radio almost everyday when I'm driving to work, and she's been recommending this documentary. It sounded really interesting, and HBO was actually playing it so we Tivo'd it. All I can say is OMG!! I am completely disgusted by how in the United States of America, our government and agencies that are supposed to protect us can let this happen. Watch it. Please. It may not sound like something that would be really interesting, but let me give you a hint- these people can light their WATER on fire! WTF!

I can't help but wonder why rates of autism are rising, and we become more and more infertile..........

My intention is to completely enjoy this break I'm taking before I attempt IVF again. The process of IVF and infertility in general is so consuming, it tends to takes over your whole life. Your every thought revolves around it. I'm ready to think about something else for a while. Last night, I made a whole blender full of Midori Coladas, I drank the whole thing, and enjoyed every sip of it. YUM!! How perfect that this little break happens to be during the summer. Perfect timing for some fun!

Next week, I'll start on a temporary new shift at work. I'll be working from 4p-midnight. I think that I'm going to like this for the summer, and if not, hey it's only for 2 months. Currently, Griffin goes 3 days a week to daycare, but it's only for a couple of hours a day. I've decided that for the summer, I'm going to bring him there for full days on those 3 days. So I'll get up in the morning and have a couple of hours with him, and then bring him to daycare, and then come back home. It will give me a chance to take a nap (since I'll only get about 6 hrs of sleep), and get some stuff done.

I was really hesitant about the daycare arrangement at first. I was so worried that I would miss my guy terribly, but when I thought about it more, I realized that I'll have all day on Wed and Thurs to spend with him. Plus, I will also have every other Friday off and he won't go to daycare at all those days. Overall, I think that I'll still be spending the same amount of time with him. Why do I still have a tinge of guilt about it??

Speaking of summer fun...... we have a tentative date for the pool installation of July 9th. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for this. Ryan says that the ground is as ready as it's going to be. If we can get it up soon, then we'll have atleast 2 months to enjoy it before it gets too chilly here. I think that after all of this work, we're going to be waiting until next year to build a deck for it. I'm also thinking about a stone patio leading up to it, and I'm going to work on talking Ryan into an outdoor fireplace. We'll see how that goes.

Ryan and I headed out at 6:30 this morning for our 3 hour drive to the Dr's. An appointment that honestly only lasted about 15 minutes. Hey, had to do it though. Basically, Dr Bayer said that he was pleased at my response to the meds, but that he thinks that he's going to increase the dosage next time. He gave me the option of using my frozen embie or doing another fresh cycle. I've decided that doing another fresh cycle makes more sense, since I only have one frozen embie. If it doesn't survive being thawed, then I have no backup, and the cycle would be cancelled.

He still thinks that I'm a good candidate for the single embryo transfer, however he is leaving it up to me if I want to transfer 2 at a time. Part of his concern for me with twins is the preterm or even premature labor since Griffin was 4 weeks early. So, I'm still debating on one or two. I also asked about supplements or herbs, since so many women that I've talked to swear by things like the red raspberry leaf tea, etc. He said "NO!". He's not comfortable with them since they are so unregulated, and the way that they could interact with the meds. He assured me that I'm doing everything that I can do, and really it's up to fate at this point.